my helpers

[This section remains as one of only two parts of this blog not written to my father, the other being a page titled “Why I’m Here.”]

this is not an exhaustive list (though it may look like one) of the many ways i have sought and received support over these years. some have to do with grief, some have to do with finding ways back to myself and some have to do with my callings since Pop died.

though unlisted here, i attribute so much help to my father. all the experiences of living with him in my youth and making my way during and after his death have certainly secured my path in the world. i am devoted to this path.

and the massive list below serves as a wonderful reminder to me that my many efforts in healing were made possible through community and company of others along the way. i wouldn’t be here- not like this- had it not been for the hearts and words of all these folks.

immeasurable thanks go to my canine partner for meeting me where i was (not quite a year after Pop’s death), for offering me the reciprocal grace and love through all these years. i continue learning and evolving in ability to offer that level of grace and love to myself. his teachings have been hugely instrumental in this and my relationship with him is a spiritual path, in its own right.

therapeutic/spiritual services

  • all souls counseling center: suzanne gloor, lpc
    • talk therapy, emdr, cbt, supportive therapeutic relationship
  • open path collective: catherine shane, lmhc
    • talk therapy, emdr, ifs, cbt, supportive therapeutic relationship
  • institute of applied neuroscience: terry sloan, lpc
    • neurofeedback, talk therapy
  • life coaching: vicy wilkinson, ma, ctc, bcc
  • seminary mentorship:
    • rev. blaze ardman
    • rev. elizabeth friend-ennis
    • rev. melissa stewart
    • rev. sarah bowen
    • rev. leslie reambeault
    • rev. deshannon bowens
    • rev. eileen fisher
    • my entire cohort, class of 2021
  • spiritual guidance/direction
    • renae matkins

research

  • genealogy
    • my heritage platform
    • norwegian genealogy board
    • vibeke- my norwegian friend & translator
  • reading (top helpers, in no particular order)
    • the wild edge of sorrow– francis weller
    • the year of magical thinking– joan didion
    • dying to be free– beverly cobain
    • the empty chair– beryl glover
    • after suicide loss– bob baugher & jack jordan
    • mysterious moments– jane williams
    • pilgrim, david whyte: essentials– david whyte
    • grief, dying & death– therese rando
    • on grief & grieving– elisabeth kübler ross and david kessler
    • this is your brain on grief, unf*ck your grief– dr. faith g harper
    • the art of letting go: living the wisdom of st. francis– richard rohr
    • how can i help?- ram dass
    • a symphony in the brain– jim robbins
    • an anthroplogist on mars– oliver sacks
    • you can heal your life– louise hay
    • let your life speak– parker palmer
    • papa’s place, who will wind the clock?– margaret t. jensen
    • sacred sendoffs– rev. sarah bowen

self-reconnection

  • acupuncture
    • daoist traditions, ashley kuper, l.ac
    • people’s acupuncture clinic, aimee schinasi, l.ac
    • people’s acupuncture clinic, sam soemardi, l.ac
  • neurofeedback/neuropathways
    • institute of applied neuroscience: terry sloan & illysa hamlin
    • lumosity app
  • astrology
    • liz gunn, long-time mentor & astrologer
    • chani nicholas, astrologer
    • jessica lanyadoo, ghost of a podcast
  • massage & reiki
    • kara cura, former massage therapist & reiki practitioner
  • meditation
    • transcendental meditation: jeanne ball, tom ball
    • psychic horizon’s 1-3 classes: rev. laura hopper, rev. bruce von horn, rev. michelle comeau, rev. hatt kelley
  • network spinal analysis & somatic respiratory integration
    • dr. chelsea rae verslues & dr. brian t. lumb
  • functional medicine
    • dr. brad rachman
  • primary care
    • doug yozwiak, pa-c

self-exploration

  • daily journaling practice
  • daily dream recall practice
  • past lives project: bobby baranowski
  • numerology: rebecca scolnick
  • mediumship: alex moody
  • quantum energetics: sanyu estelle

studies & training

  • attachment theory: independent study (emotional intelligence 2.0– jean greaves & travis bradberry)
  • emotional intelligence: independent study (attached– amir levine & rachel s. f. heller)
  • dialectical behavioral therapy: independent study (rachel gill’s dbt informed peer connections)
  • internet marketing: jb media internet marketing institute
  • interdependence/differentiation: independent study (passionate marriage– david schnarch)
  • chakras/western psychology: independent study (eastern body western mind– anodea judith)
  • reiki levels I, II, III: lisa powers, chris rinaldi
  • animal reiki: lisa powers, holistic animal studies
  • survivors of suicide loss facilitator training: pamela gabbay, andy mcniel
  • interfaith/interspiritual seminary: one spirit interfaith seminary

being with other survivors

  • biological family members (brother & mom / aunts, uncles, cousins)
  • chosen family members (close friends who are fellow survivors)
  • survivors of suicide loss support groups
  • long-term survivors summit in cleveland, ohio
  • international survivors of suicide loss days
  • out of the darkness community walks
  • writing on the walls podcast with rob hlavaty, guest and listener
  • volunteering/serving on the nc chapter board of afsp

fellowship

  • adult children of alcoholics (12 step)
  • underearners anonymous (12 step)
  • recovery dharma (non-theistic, buddhist inspired)
  • runes collective (study group on nordic runes)
  • person’s circle (regular circle call with peers)
  • dream group (based on work of jeremy taylor, d. min)
  • dean groups & study groups (small cohort groups during seminary)

service (volunteer)

  • service roles in home meeting of adult children of alcoholics
  • former board member of nc chapter of american foundation for suicide prevention
  • co-coordinator of international survivor day events
  • animal reiki practitioner for animals in homes of foster guardians
  • facilitator of survivors of suicide loss support group
  • co-facilitator/peer at monthly recovery meeting
  • nc committee member of loss & healing for american foundation for suicide prevention
  • listening room facilitator: 30 minute sessions to members of local community
  • co-host of wonder queer podcast, with rev. elia singer